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Life is a sexually transmitted disease...
20 most recent entries

Date:2007-05-01 14:17

Unless Redbull counts. Aye aye aye... Flipping bored. I've been hella down lately. Might be the after effects of all the stuff I did on Saturday. I'm such a retard. Really, I need a hug.

I'm having second thoughts about asking out that beezy I was talking about earlier. I don't want to screw up what could be a good relationship with my baggage. Sure, she has baggage but... well I dunno. Shit keeps hitting the fan. But I like her a lot. And for once it's a girl who actually swings my way. Not to mention a million other pluses. I don't know. I just started typing out of boredom.

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Date:2007-04-28 18:57
Subject:So I....
Mood: Torn.

really, really wanna ask Lexi out. I'm just worried that it'll weird her out and she'll run away forever.

We have so much in common. She's a beautiful, wise, amazing person. Thing is, she's like the hottest girl in the world. And I'm well... mediocre... I don't know....Sigghhhh.

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Date:2007-04-28 16:09
Subject:Panda tears
Mood: not dead

When I cry for more than two minutes I get this strange high. Jittery, on edge, panicky, then serene, trippy, and melancholy. Then later on my eyes get incredibly sore, but that's more understandable. Sigh. I'm weird.

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Date:2007-04-26 09:48
Mood: lol whut?

State testing is pretty lame. The questions seem to get weirder and weirder each year. It creeps me out.

Yeah, umm... fight the man.

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Date:2007-04-16 02:32
Mood: melancholy

l3thatfeverplay got me in to PlayRadioPlay! and now I'm listening to a beautiful, sad song with beautiful, sad lyrics.

My parachute didn't open,
and when my back up failed,
the pixie dust prevailed,
and I woke up next to you.
All I wanted was to hold you.

I was born in the city,
however small it held a hospital,
the location where I came into being.
It was all downhill from there.

what do you do when your life's a disaster?
and you're moving faster?
and its getting harder to breathe?
what do you say,
to someone who's right,
but you disagree,
even if its the truth?

I was told you are "depressed" by a little bird,
that was severely hurt,
as it did not notice my window.
It just flew where ever the wind blows.

As it convulsed on the pavement,
it whispered "I am hated."
"your genetic flaws" I said
"say it all.
You cant decipher reflections
from reality,
but neither can I..."
i noticed neither can I...
I noticed neither can I...
I noticed neither can I"

You are the circle, I am the square,
I have the non cut, you have the cool hair.
We both take showers, for almost an hour,
but only once a week or two.

What do you do,
when your life's a disaster?
and you're moving faster?
and its getting harder to breathe?
What do you say,
to someone who's right,
but you disagree even if its the truth...

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Date:2007-04-15 13:19
Mood: anxious

I don't miss him.

In fact...

He can go
A .

What I miss is being in

And being loved.

Or at least thinking
that I was loved.

I miss being held.
Being kissed.


Being turned on.


We didn't even have sex.

And that was okay.

Except I kind of do want sex.

But I want love too.

Right now, I'd go for either....


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Date:2007-04-15 01:03
Mood: melancholy

So now, I'm lonely and sober.

and so fucking bored...

rkujsraezfvv :[

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Date:2007-04-10 22:34
Subject:I can't live... with or without you...
Mood: melancholy

He's online. Anytime he comes online I'm just so fucking tempted to talk to him. I don't know what I'd say though. Life's a bitch.

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Date:2007-04-10 09:58


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Date:2007-04-10 08:57
Subject:I'm still so hurt.
Mood: distressed

I apologized to him for being snotty and flipping off his new slut cunt whore ehem, "girlfriend". He said sorry, but some how it just seemed so half-assed. I still feel like shit. Really. Like I wanna die. Not to mention I still think he's a douche. :/

I kind of even regret apologizing to him. Fucking dick. God damn it.

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Date:2007-04-08 18:59
Mood: sad

I feel so shitty. I can't stop crying. I feel so hurt. So lead-on. I was deceived. I feel like such a fool.

I honestly thought he loved me. I was so sure of it...

I wonder if he has any idea of what he's done...

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Date:2007-04-08 06:01
Subject:He broke it...

Umm, dude, that's my heart...

I read it. Sort of accidently. He is dating the girl from the mall.

Three days? Three fucking days? maybe even less...

I seriously thought he loved me. I was absolutely convinced. I was so in love. I was so happy. Now I want to fucking die.

I can't remember the last time I felt this crushed.

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Date:2007-04-07 21:03
Subject:Why does life keep kicking me in the vagina?
Mood: hurt...

So I went to the mall today with a few friends which made me pretty happy. We ran into Edan who was with a few of his friends. It was really awkward and it kinda sucked since I'm no where near over him, but it didn't bother me too much.
Then we went to Mervyn's and loitered in the matress and bedding department which was pretty chill. We went back in the mall and were walking around when we noticed Edan walking with his arm around some girl and acting rather romantic about it.

I know that it may not mean anything but none the less, as you might imagine, I FEEL LIKE SHIT.

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Date:2007-04-06 14:28
Mood: morose

I miss Edan so fucking much. This really sucks ass. God damnit.

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Date:2007-04-03 21:18
Subject:Ah, fuck.
Mood: disappointed

So, Edan broke up with me. It was for a valid reason that isn't either of our faults, and we're still on friendly terms, it just kinda sucks getting dumped.

I really liked him. A lot. Blargh.

Damn it.

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Date:2007-03-28 09:34

What Be Your Nerd Type?
Your Result: Drama Nerd

You sure do love the spotlight and probably have a very out-going and loud personality. Or not. That's just a stereotype, of course. Participation in the theatre is something to be very proud of. Whether you have a great voice for musicals, or astounding skills for dramas/comedies; keep up the good work. We need more entertainment these days that isn't television and video games (not that these things are bad, necessarily.)

Social Nerd
Artistic Nerd
Anime Nerd
Literature Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type?
Quizzes for MySpace

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Date:2007-03-28 08:14
Subject:I'm Anemic Royalty...
Mood: pathetic

This morning I woke up feeling miserable. Not so much physically, but emotionally. It's been a while since I've felt so much like I don't want to do anything.

So many things have been boring to me lately. Supposedly this makes me a boring person. Fucking great on my self-esteem.

Yesterday I was bored with shit but happier than usual. Mostly because I was excited about seeing Edan.

When I finally did get to see him, it wasn't quite what I wanted it to be. He was a bit more distant, probably because his mom kept hovering over us, but it still kind of got to me.

I love that boy so much. I find myself constantly missing him. I see him two or three times a week, which is more than some people get to see their honeys, but still...

When I kiss him, I know that he loves me, and he tells me he loves me all the time, which is something I've kind of wanted for a long time.

Yesterday though, he was acting kindof unsure about everything.


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Date:2007-03-26 11:50
Subject:Sex and Vengeance
Mood: calm

I've decided that I'm going to get revenge on my mean, evil family by fucking Edan harder. Even though they don't know about him... and it wouldn't really effect them.... shh... I think I should try this for all my bouts of anger.

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Date:2007-03-25 20:16
Mood: annoyed

No. I'm not going to sit here and explain it all because now I'm only alowed to spend a few more minutes on the computer, which is also bullshit. All I can say is that I hate my family (and myself for that matter)with a passion and I know the feeling is mutual.

On the upside, Edan is an amazing kisser, a great musician, and I'm his girlfriend.

P.S.: if you don't actually know the situation, spare me the "importance of family" and "respect" lecture. kthx.

also, Holly is awesome.

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Date:2007-03-17 23:59
Mood: Drunk and Happy

Hey guys, I'm in love!

Edan asked me out today. Yay! :]

Things are finally looking up. ^^

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